manic state

When I tell you this, please don't say I sound insane All this fucked up shit's been running through my fucking brain Mind's fucked up, drunk driver behind the wheel, Hard to stay inside my lane, harder still to fuckin' deal with Thoughts of suicide, stay up late until I die, or maybe that's just my Warping mind trying to keep up with the lies, sorry if I haven't seemed much like myself As of late, I don't think there's much left for me to tell, if you want, i'll play it safe Because you've got this twisted, evil grip up on my fate, I couldn't tell you what it is But if you want, I'll make a date out of every time that we hang out, maybe then I won't be so irate I'll exclude myself from events, like I always do, and when you call I won't answer I'll be drifting off into the nether realm, please don't you Bother trying to message me, contact me at all, actually It's better if you try to deal with this resolve in a way That doesn't affect my day-to-day, it's got my back against the wall I stumble forwards, still I crawl, in a sense, I'm trying to get away My innocence, my selfishness, my self-doubt is my downfall, wait This is just my manic state, I think I'll be better on a different day I know it's not something that you can simply change, or something that will go away My mind just can't keep up with it's own pace, I guess Maybe still it's the fact that I am horribly depressed Sorry if I seem like such a mess It's just the fact that I am horribly depressed