tearing myself apart

Falling in and out of love in the same damn day I won't ask if you love me, I am scared of what you'll say I've had dreams that would simply pull my life apart The seams of who I am get torn with every thought Who am I to break the hearts of who I love I f*ck it all up anyways, who would care if I could run Away from every single moment that I have to make a choice I'm not asking if you love me, please, just listen to my voice And the words I say, I mean them more than anything My dreams of being long forgotten mean more than just a ring Being torn from my finger, I just want to be nobody Thoughts of suicide seem to linger I feel more free than I ever have before But I still feel trapped, tell-tale heart beneath the floor And the sounds it makes resound throughout the halls of my decisions Simple enough, right, I just gotta make the right incisions Thought about it too damn much to run from it Ticking time bomb, blast radius is nothing What the hell am I even running from Just gotta say a few words, get depressed, and then some Odd couple years will pass, and I'll f*ck it up again Committing's not the issue, terrible is who I am Sorry for the mistakes that hurt you, I can't fix that Trust me, I have tried enough times to mend hearts I'm mismatched in every sense of the word Ever since the third time I had tried to get away with this My mind gets carried off, my heart's the same, on a whim I can go from being helplessly in love to breaking down relationships And feeling like I have to run I'm inconsistent, but I do this shit consistently At the end of things, please don't come back missing me