Not Having You In My Life Is Torture

Bet I'm different now huh? I had my hopes and dreams crushed Fighting the ones I love And playing the victim I'm fucking sick of myself Only I'm to blame Only I'm to blame For the sabotage that I've caused How can I ever rest? Knowing you have my reflection You're just a projection On the things that I see in myself And running away did nothing for me Not having you in my life is torture Was this the end to a means? Its eating me alive All my life I've been searching for you Only to abandon you when you needed it most It follows me around Call to the sound of these echoes They surround you Im not too far ahead I've been running from my problems If I love you why am I bleeding? Its all my fault I can't fool anyone Like the way I fool myself Was this the end to a means? Was it worth it to watch me suffer? Not having you in my life is torture Its eating me alive You're everywhere This is torture Its eating me alive Why do I f*ck up everything? You're shitting me I can't rest How could I ever rest? Knowing you have my reflection And when does this end? 'Cuz running away did nothing for me Not having you in my life torture Was this the end to a means? Was it worth it to watch me suffer? Not having you in my life is torture I walk an abandoned road With nowhere left to go How can we end up like this? I can only hate myself For so long...