Please Don't Kill Me, Daniel!

I met this guy named Daniel once Who had this rather striking confidence He said, "If God gave me the command, I would kill you right here" He went on to say he'd rather not But he sort of said it as an afterthought And so, I left that Trader Joe's before God could appear Kids will say the darndest things When you promise them a pair of wings I read that back in the eighties This super out of touch first lady Told everyone that it's easy to just say no And I'm not sure what she was smoking Because if in my life, I've learned just one thing It's that it all goes a lot more smoothly if you do as you're told And kids don't care what their t-shirts say It's not like anyone reads them anyway Just because the seatbelt light turns off Doesn't mean the whole cabin can just stand up at once That's why everything that you need is built right into your chair Remember: flight attendants are in charge of you Even though they bring you peanuts and cranberry juice So keep your seatbelt tight across your lap in case we hit some rough air Kids can start to cry at thirty thousand feet But that makes a lot of sense if you ask me