how did you do it so easily?

Saying goodbye to you Was one the worst things I could do Knowing it's time for now Took every little bit of me to finally choke out Cus you're fine and I'm not You've moved on and I'm stuck Taking distance from you Was one of the hardest things I could do Putting me first for once Felt like pushing you deeper into my open cuts Cus you're fine and I'm not You've moved on and I'm stuck So if it feels like breaking, I'll put myself there And if it's hurting, at least I still know you were here I'm just trying to live without you When you've never known my absence Or feel yours like I do Please tell me how you did it so easily? If I had cried in front of you It would have be the worst thing I could do But I know you saw me tear up When they started playing that fucking Phoebe song And if I hadn't left, I'd break And you told me it was ok So if it feels like breaking, I'll put myself there And if it's hurting, at least I still know you were here I'm just trying to live without you When you've never known my absence Or feel yours like I do Please tell me how you did it so easily? Please tell me how you forgot it so easily? And I watched you in the cafe as it all went down As the hinges started creaking, and the walls gave out I saw it as my words settled in your head You never thought I'd be the one to pull away I held myself together so well, till I cried In CVS to my bestfriend I couldn't understand why I Felt so much, when you didn't feel the change While I drowned in the weather You didn't hear the rain So if it feels like breaking, I'll hold it together And if it's hurting, I'll stop till I'm better I have lived without you And now I have to relearn how to Cus you've never felt my absence And you never will And I can't keep chasing something already killed