Never Had

Again I'm trying to have what I can't have I don't deserve I'm not enough emotionally enslaved It's so unique there's no one else who's ever felt the same I see the signs in my obscurity Is there something you're trying to tell me or I'm just overthinking Why can't you see that I can't breathe when you're around me And if I can't move forward I'll try at least to move on The sense of getting closure Has never been so close  I'm trying to let go of something I've never had You're not meant for me but I can't wrap my head around that There's something in your eyes that amplifies my hopeless need to make you mine one day I'm trying to convince myself that this is not the end There's not a day without pain There's not a day without pain There's not a day without pain   I take my time to heal the wounds I got by letting you get too close to me I blame myself for fantasies I let myself live in If only part of it was true to you And things would go just like I hoped they would I'd never have to waste the words I love you And if I can't move forward I'll try at least to move on The sense of getting closure Has never been so close I'm trying to let go of something I've never had You're not meant for me but I can't wrap my head around that There's something in your eyes that amplifies my hopeless need to make you mine one day I'm trying to convince myself that this is not the end There's not a day without pain You tortured me not knowing you were doing this And every night pretending like I'm fine I cried myself to sleep You took a piece each time I felt your touch on me And It hurts to realize that you are not mine but still exist I'm trying to let go of something I've never had You're not meant for me but I can't wrap my head around that There's something in your eyes that amplifies my hopeless need to make you mine one day I'm trying to convince myself that this is not the end There's not a day without pain