He Did It in the Woods

Mary had a little lamb I read it in a book It followed her to school one day Which was against the rules It's a good thing that she went To learn her P's and Q's Or else she might have seen The nasty thing that I saw I can't believe the sight I saw Still can't trust my eyes I guess it's true when they say They do it in the woods He was big he was dark He was friggin tall He turned and looked straight through me In the middle of natures call I never did think much about it Now I think I should Since the day I walked up on him Doing it in the woods It was fresh it was moist It stuck fast to my shoe I couldn't run no place to hide I smelled like sloppy stinky poo I wish I did what Mary did I should have went to school I could have followed her example And learned my P's and Q's But instead I strayed that day I thought that I was cool I lay here helpless on the ground Praying hard he doesn't fart You better do what Mary did And keep your ass in school Or you may end up like me Sitting on natures stool I don't think you have to ask why The truth has been revealed Yes they do it in the woods I found out first hand