Oh Jet! (Gladiators Ready)

I was just thirteen, a little baby gay When I turned on my TV set one day Saturday night, primetime on ITV Oh what a sight in their lycra pink and blue Oiled up for the fight, lookin' so cool I was having feelings that I never knew were real And now it's back with a bang on the BBC And it's a hit like in 1993 They say it's just as good but something's missing for me Cos they're all talking 'bout Sabre Electro, Fire and Fury Oh do me a favour There was only ever one Gladiator for me Oh Jet! You know I'll never forget ya When I was thirteen I let ya Fly straight into my lesbian dreams Oh Jet! How could I ever forget ya There'll never be no one better You are still the only one for me I used to wish you would chase me up that wall Pull me down to the crash mat, break my fall Wrap your legs around me on those rings Made me think all sorts of little lesbian things I had posters of you in my room I would dream about you on the way to school I was having feelings that were very new to me I even wrote to you and my friends all laughed But you sent me an actual autograph And that was when I knew that it had to be love Oh Jet! I know that you got my letter So why you making me sweat - yeah When will you come and marry me Oh Jet! It's nearly thirty years later I've given up on the wait - yeah I know that we could never be But then I read in the news the other day At fifty-three you have just come out as gay And you're engaged to a woman who looks like me Now I'm starting to question everything I feel sick and my head is in a spin You have left me wondering what could have been Oh Jet! Oh if only I'd met ya Maybe I could've swept ya Straight off your little lesbian feet Oh Jet! Please tell your wife I respect her But if she ever rejects ya You can come and hang tough with me Oh Jet! Oh Jet! You can come and hang tough with me