Recovery Phase

(Right) (There's a lot I have to say) (So take in all these words carefully) My mind is a house of glass Torn apart into fragments by this person from my past Who seemed a top guy at first glance Who always got a second chance and Now I'm stuck, in a wounded silence with a mental rash Money, cars, drive by's that you glamorised Silhouette's of red flags in the night sky I turned a blatant blind eye to the warning signs Yet again they're hard to see with the naked eye Wait, please let me breathe I don't know what your tryna' achieve right You painted out a life of success and delight You lied and took my freedom now I feel, I feel like The frown on my face Can never portray The scars that I really hate The ones at home base Tell myself, to block out all these awful feelings Never occurred to me that I might still be healing Just in the recovery phase I'm stuck in my ways I'm still in a daze Tell myself, I'm not always gonna be betrayed n' Take each day by the day Learn to never be afraid but always take precaution Thats kinda hard with someone without a friendship decorum Threaten me everyday with different people but I never saw them Sayin' that you'll blow my head into a million particle portions Sending my mind into a feeble distortion A complete disregard for my 14 year-old emotions How you gonna do that to a child That poor mothers' never again gonna see her kid with a smile But I still think the worst is due for arrival Telling no one for as long as I could Whilst I was fighting for survival yeah I thought It'd all be fine Maybe if I bide my time But that second name (breath) Was always ringing in my mind Felt my life flash before my eyes when you, said you Weren't scared to use that switchblade knife You kept me up in a fright Couldn't sleep at night I thought maybe it would be easier just to take my own life I swear, the people around me yeah they kept me alive I'm not kidding you put the first thought of taking my life in my mind The look on my mums face when I told her A whole series of events in no particular order She looked me in the eyes and said (son don't cry) But I said "mum I feel like I'll always be looking over my shoulder" I carry the weight of a pain and hate filled boulder This undisclosed fear only grows as I'm getting older Man those months were like an unknown torture Still fearing that you'll come back, or appear in my room in a corner Yeah the frown on my face Can never portray The scars that I really hate The ones at home base Tell myself, to block out all these awful feelings or maybe I shouldn't Pray to god every morning that maybe I was only dreaming I'm struggling to push past it but I'm really trying I'm still scared and in that there is no denying Got those inner demons that I'm still relentlessly fighting or Will I just let them beat me until my soul goes up to heaven I'm flying