The Pattern

I wanna get rid of my self-sacrificial heart I wanna clean up my messes and get rid of simple, for a start I wanna drive slow and get there fast And I don't want you to hold me back I feel like I'm running away But I am frozen in place Frozen in place Mm I miss you on birthdays and when I can't sleep And I hate when I'm right but you disagree If we never fought would we even be us I wouldn't believe it 'cuz we care too damn much I feel like I'm running away But I am frozen in place If I can't break the pattern Who's gonna tell me what I need If I'm not trying Do I wanna be redeemed Oh I'm coasting I wanna jump out of my childhood window But I never do I never do It's easy to dream of a version of me who wanted to want to try Doesn't everybody believe they can fly I feel like I'm gonna go away I am floating through space I am watching the look on your face when I say I can't break the pattern I need you to tell me what I need I'm not trying Do I wanna be redeemed I'm just coasting I could drop out of school I could drive out of state Find my own fate Or I could go live abroad I could find God Or cry to my mom But I don't I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't I can't break the pattern Tell me what I need I'm not trying Do I wanna be redeemed Oh I'm coasting I'm just coasting