Birthday Party

I'm in the car as the party gets going Still don't feel ready to talk My friends have texted 'cause they're wondering how I'm coping But the truth is I'm not coping well at all I see the lights and I hear the laughter I'd rather be out here on my own I'm sick of faking smiles and the fake talk that comes after I lie and say that I don't feel alone 'Cause it's my birthday And I miss you again Shut myself off from the world I think I like the way it hurts Sit back and listen to the rain Like staying still will heal the pain Mm, mmhmm My mind is finished for the evening My phone's still lying down, ignored No-one for company but the shadows on the ceiling That it casts from its position on the floor Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it If getting burnt by hope's alright Will I ever find the thing that I've been searching for, Or is it just a way to kill the time? If you were here Maybe you'd know the answer Shut myself off from the world I think I like the way it hurts Sit back and listen to the birds Like staying still won't make it worse Mm, mmhmm