False Image

Let me say some shit on my mind lately cause if I didn't spit I would go crazy cause on the daily, I feel I'm trailing Friends I follow and enemy's play me well I hope so anyway, so they know the things I say Even if they don't know they're directed their way But I'm okay, though in my room I stay as thoughts they stray towards better days what i say is not a lie but the day my mother died i became other guy So if you wonder why, I barely go outside inside i'm not fine and i'm too shy, sick of living a lie Just trying to get back to basics Mistakes I've made, I'm trying to face em Faith in people I've wrongly placed in Reciprocated by my hatred got to let go of that Get back on track Plot it out, make a map Straight back on the attack But lately shadows are clouding my vision and the words I'm writing, not even I listen and I fall back into my depression Like in school sat at the back of lessons clways felt alone my whole life That's why I know ill never have a wife Even with my family even with a sibling Just stay away from them instead of squabbling clways thinking what's the matter with him as inside my mind, yea its like a prison Yet I stay on my mission under these conditions cause hoping and wishing never achieved anything but neither did inadequacy so angry inside i lost my identity The guy I portray every day Isn't me, we would never speak, if you ever got too meet the guy I try to keep inside of me a side of me that you'll never see If I let him out, true I might feel free but then I'll be alone and have nobody that monster, wants to, leave this place just use this music to get sane never intended to gain any fame but the fact remains that if any came would want every ounce so my life would change not that i don't want this life I'm living but i would be lying if i wasn't admitting want the fame for my name, though thats not why I'm driven want to make stuff i like, like music that I listen so am i copy or is that just inspiration? if i write the same lyrics is that parallel thinking? or am a copy, the fake that i hate want to be wanted not for riches to be flaunted but if I had it wouldn't i flaunt it just to show I'm good at something doesn't matter what it comes with doesn't matter all the pain it could bring -desperate to be the best at anything yea, cause I've never been confidence not shattered its devastated because the only person that i'm really hating is myself because I'm pathetic yea i said it I know its ridiculous that im spitting this a kid from rammy, who had everything given him making music though he cant sing, yea give it in for f*ck sake man its so embarrassing like when someone brings it up in conversation want to brag but i go into my shell then put the album back on the shelf then its not for you, is so my problems can be dealt with cause i can't talk to strangers, that aint right at least in real life, only on the mic so am i the most honest person I know or is it a facade? is it just for show? projecting an image i think you should see when in reality I don't know what's the real me yet the trait i hold dearest is my honesty but how can i be honest when i don't know what the truth is This album isn't going to matter after next week but that doesn't matter if it matters to me trapped in the past but how history will remember me cause I feel like the villain in my own life story