Celtic Bonding

We went off to Cornwall for some Celtic Bonding Scaled the dizzy heights of a back street bar in Bodmin Gregory's girl complained, she thought he was absconding So he promised to write; at least twice a year A woman there caught me eye she said""Do you wanna hump me?"" But by then I'd drunk about a gallon of scrumpy Went outside to chuck; it was warm and wet and lumpy Came back she was gone; I should have stuck to beer Buggered off to Brittany wondering how we'd get on When we got there we asked for something to write the set on I asked them in Welsh they answered me in Breton Will said""Merci beau cou"" which means""Thanks;- nice bum!"" Cat said she was keen to try some Breton cider Gained a local fan and all night he supplied her Later on when she had had a few inside her Cat was catatonic, all in the name of fun Celtic born and Celtic bred Been Celtic country wandering You've never had fun on a Saturday night If you haven't tried Celtic Bonding We went off to Ireland on the f f f ferry Drank a bottle of Powers sank a liter of sherry Then we downed another, I tell you we got quite merry Boat began to rock and we began to roll Staggered off the ferry, firey eyed and bleary Rolled off to the gig a few miles from Dún Laoghaire Their PA was fucked no bastard there could hear me But the Craic was good we played with heart and soul Over the sea to Skye to play in Saucy Mary's Shared a bottled of Scotch we grew loud and leery On the Talisker I was off with the fairies Threw me into the van and out to the country we sped Gregory went a wandering in the inclement weather Then by the light of the moon he lost it all together Met a bloody great bull and chased it through the heather I said""Aren't you scared?"" the bull nodded his head Celtic born and Celtic bred Been Celtic country wandering You've never had fun on a Saturday night If you haven't tried Celtic Bonding My friend John once said the Isle of Mann was thugless So we did a gig in a dingy dive in Douglas When we got outside some mangy mad Manx men mugged us They took all our cash; four pounds twenty six A drug dealer approached us hearing we're from Blighty Said the smack was fifty and the Crack was ninety Didn't want to offend; I turned him down politely Said""I don't do drugs"" then went off to get pissed Finally back to Wales, back to the land of me fathers Driving across the bridge singing""Hymns & Arias"" Said we'd eat in Cardiff; what a fucking palaver Couldn't decide what to eat ended up with sod all Next we're off to play Gwyl Celtaidd Abertawe Singing Calon Lan in the style of David Bowie Then we're partying in an inn in Pontardawe Bonding all through the night I tell you we had a ball Celtic born and Celtic bred Been Celtic country wandering You've never had fun on a Saturday night If you haven't tried Celtic Bonding Celtic born and Celtic bred Been Celtic country wandering You've never had fun on a Saturday night If you haven't tried Celtic Bonding