La Douleur Exquise

Big wins and I lose Or is it the other way around? Every time the cycle ends The sun falls from the sky And I wonder if his view Is of the morning light But when it starts again The moon rises full and bright For me at least Big smiles and I melt Does he even feel the same about me? Even when I'm preoccupied With some unlucky one I can't help but be reminded of The circles that we run I try to move on but Then I see you glowing, heavenly For you, I fold But without you I'm drowning in Marlboro cigarettes Dirty martinis and nameless silhouettes I'm listening to Chet on repeat wondering if I'll ever stop tasting you on my lips Big says I'm the one Am I addicted to the sweet pain? I wanna be able to tell you That we're just a bad match But in truth I crave the chaos Of our perfect mess I know I'll lose myself Inside my sentimental memory Yet no matter how many times we end I would do everything thing again