Incompatible With Life

I try my fucking best I want to feel some semblance of happiness Something to pull me out of this rut I need anything I need help Maybe in the end it's okay to feel this way To feel so hopeless all the time All the years that I've lost Forlorn I want to go back Stop myself from fucking myself up But I can't My chest aches as memories linger Resting on my chest, halting all progress I want to be free of this rot It keeps me docile, repeating mistake after mistake An encroaching loss of ones self One by one I lose my heart Hopelessly drowning in this soul I want to bring myself back to life The faint dance, compulsive dread Through my doubts and misery Learning nothing throughout this time Lashing out, through my teary eyes Apathy towards my salvation And yet in these restless nights I long and wake for some stability