Don't Tell Me I'm Pretty

I keep my limbs in this pile I hoard excuses in stacks until they flatten cats And I've been tuning the dials on my pillowcase Trying to fast forward to the good part Wait for the twist, miss all the good parts To end my day early, preferably before it starts, I just put whatever in my blood They said you can't get addicted to pot I must've forgot My short term memory's not good You can't get addicted to pot Well, why not? Don't tell me what I can't do Then I brought home some free weights, Like hanging posters in a cage Just taking up space I give myself too much leeway Except in my head and my health And how I talk to myself Turns out that bud don't got all that much to do with Buddhism But sometimes I like to pretend, and I get pretty zen And I try a guided meditation on self-compassion They said to pick something to love Didn't matter what it was Didn't matter if you're even good at it Just pick something to love "What's so great about drugs?" What's so great about anything? And they said you can't get addicted to pot Probably not I don't wanna argue right now I just want something to love more than myself Even when that's not a high standard Every day is a day God dropped, Held up to Himself and He picked the hairs off Like, "It's still good, you can help yourself! And if you want help, you can help yourself!" I never learned how to help myself So I'm refusing the call, I'll pace the equator And I don't get service there, I'll talk to you later I'm tumbling down the up escalator Then I will try to find and realign my spine Too little, too late this time See you never I just want something to love more than myself Even when that's not a high standard