The Inexplicable Ruby

Drowning in your bed frame Lost in your love Trapped in your care If I go then I hope to repent This apology filled embrace Taking back every word I sent I push away you never push me back If love is a dream then I jolt awake And lay in the anger I stir in my chest Fist to the wind in the stream of regret I don't wanna lose you as much as I thought In the end I could only wish to be a song in your head that pumps through your heart I just wanna be better If this is my new leaf Then I don't mind hurting every day Contrasting words when I am down That's my insecurity leaving through the broken window If I die a painful death Then I will be content Even when you say I'm not bad at all I hear the things you don't recall Yelling and fighting the throwing and lighting Your love going up in flames Then down in a crash I'm not a good person but suffering made me the love you deserve I want you I need you One more time