Backwash

I've kept this rope off of my neck One over correction Away from a wreck I waste my days away in my bed To cope with the feeling that I'm already Pardon the mess of this pessimist I put a hole in my head To pour out what's left I pieced together the picture Replayed every part in my head Exchanged the pain for pleasure In someone else's bed I got this feeling Over whelming me I'm not myself And I can barely sleep And I don't think That I will ever be Happy with who I am Have you been listening I felt more alone When you were right here next to me And I will never, ever again Carry the same thoughts That did my father in To hell with forgiveness You have only ever been In business for yourself Yet since the beginning We've ended our evenings drunk To numb how it felt And yet I'm still in disbelief On how I let this Get the best of me 'Cause every night Has been a fist fight with myself Do or die, but I'll do it for no one else So I broke one hand with the other And every lover I encountered on the way Discovered that they were just replacements They couldn't reach the spaces I chose to waste my days in It's strange skin to fit in When you're watching the end Of this broken friendship Blossom again Lost in the thought of the life That I've led a tall tale Would you tell it to the frogs Or a friend I promise this all Isn't as lost as it seems Well I've been talking in tongues But I might just say something You believe Been so weak for so long That even when I'm right I'm still wrong Yet I know that I can Because I gave up on giving up It's the thought of being gone When there's a couple mother fuckers That need to know That they were wrong Despite all that I've lost I've given all that I got To give and that's my reason to live I know that you played a part in it But persevere till you're pardoned Then part ways with the darkness You only use it as armor See I don't think that you need it You've always threaded the needle You're just as strong As you've ever been Here's to the road ahead