College

The straight edge anticipation is not something most look forward to when starting college Usually the opposite No desire to waste away money on cheap beer and argue Over which Chance the Rapper song was the best I stayed local Maybe the worst decision Trapped with the anxiety monsters that started my terror Bouncing back and forth between loneliness and a broken home I knew I wasn't ready To face the fact that I always knew I wasn't special No different than the other anxious twats taking the shuttle bus to campus. The other miserable New Englanders sitting in 3 hours of traffic For what should only be a 30 minute trip Pulling my hair out thinking about the next day Stress and hair pulling turned into fear and vomit Broken down one day and stranded the next I had been finished with the constant tax that was being charged on my mental state I did what I do best I ran away and hid Air conditioned naps and cold candy bars from the fridge Hidden away at my dads shed where nobody could find Me And discover I was disappointing my family once again I never went back I don't think I ever will I don't think I ever could I could beat this own way I tell myself I'm gonna make it but I don't know anymore I might kick this life's ass or it might blow my brains out onto the expensive curtains I guess that's up to me I'll decide Effort is key Follow the dreams Stress free