I'm Sorry But I Had To

Born and bred in a strict Muslim society I someday overheard a friend say he had once overheard her talk about her life's reality For at least fifteen years, baby girl had never been in public without her hijab I gotta confess; truth is whilst in her hijab, she still managed to drive my sober mind crazy 2017 was the year, yet I still remember everything like it was yesterday; it's crazy The Explo team had her convinced Jesus was more than just a prophet Two months into the sem, baby girl realized that trading her soul for the world meant zero profit By the third month she had her life surrendered to the man who bled for her sins She still had her hijab on though, for fear of her cousins Cutie knew pretty well the cost she wouldn't be able to pay if her parents became aware For two years she managed to keep her faith to herself For three I managed to keep all my feelings to myself With her hijab always on, her parents had no clue With my mouth shut, how could she believe: "her being someone I liked", was true? She had to pretend she never knew Christ as her personal Lord and savior; I had to pretend I never knew her From afar I saw my Christian sisters walk her through the basics From a distance I watched my brothers mentor and teach her the Christian battle tactics Time has proved baby girl is really a fast learner Over the few years I've seen her master the basics like a pro Knowing what she had believed was real, she wasn't ready to let it go That's exactly why she managed to man up and told her parents about her new faith During her second year's holiday, she confessed she believed in the resurrection too not just his death It wasn't easy for the first few months; they couldn't embrace the fact that she had left Neither could they comprehend how keeping it all to herself for so long, she had managed Yet eventually, her prayers got answered; they let her stick to what she had believed Mphaka mpha Jenda, trust me this phrase has never left my mind But you gotta believe me; talking of the ladies from within the boundary, yeah, I've tried a couple I know you've your own valid reasons, but none has given me any to believe we could someday become a couple Pleasing you would have been the only reason I saw myself tying a note with them; I guess, it's really hard to be all things to all people Mphaka mpha Jenda, trust me I still had that phrase on my mind each time I thought of asking her out; I knew my love for her spelled trouble I couldn't hold myself any longer during my third year though, honestly! A couple of prayer sessions had me convinced she wasn't an alternative nor was she power hungry Her desire for God was just amazing; her dedication and honesty at it, very rare Though not having any positions in church, you could tell baby girl was more than just a member I had to tell her how cute she looked in her hijab; her modesty was simply mind blowing, that's all I can remember Remember the time you sat me down on a sunny Sunday afternoon? Talking about all the ladies we had seen in church that morning, just before noon Telling me how you didn't like how they had dressed to church Warning me never to simply fall for either bare chests or tight thighs, especially now that we're living in the end time But rather to go for character because though invisible, it lasts a lifetime I've fallen for her because I know her intangibles are what are more valuable If she were a Northerner, bills on me, I'm sure the bride price would fetch a handsome goodwill; believe me, this fact is arguable She's unlike the rest whose fixed assets make a lot of noise Their balance sheets decorated with huge figures, unaware of their large depreciation rates You're right; though going for them right now would fetch me a gain on this bargain purchase, in the long run, I'll be the one to lose out; drowning in my regrets My love for how she looks covered head to toe is the reason she still walks around in her hijab sometimes Time has me convinced, the Almighty made us for each other; she's the reason I've been single for donkey's years I really wished I brought her home with me; unfortunately, she's decided to stay behind for one more year Baby girl has always dreamt of being called 'Galanta' before leaving the Mighty Wadiya Her graduation is therefore scheduled a year after mine, of course God willing; soon she'll be your in-law I know you've been saving money for lobola; I ain't ignorant of your cattle farm I'm simply trusting the Almighty's direction though; something you've told me to always do fam Time has me convinced, she's the girl I've always believed God for; the one I've been praying for I know she doesn't tick any of your right boxes; but trust me she does mine, something I just can't ignore She ain't one of us, no need for lobola; worst still she's new to the faith, been a Muslim most of her life But I really like her, so I told her Imma marry her someday; I'm sorry, but I had to!