Deja Vu

I don't really know where to go from here Try to run can't hide my fears Put on a smile I hide my tears Can't believe I wasted all those years I'm alone in this atmosphere All the pain it just reappears Most times want to disappear Feeling like my death is near Memories turn into nightmares Finally changed but it's not fair All of a sudden you want me to care You must have forgotten yo dirty affairs Why didn't you love me when I was right there Lost in my thoughts consumed by despair You might as well tie me down to a chair Load up a shotgun and unload those shells Cause everyday it's a living hell Wasted a wish in the wishing well Know you hate me but I wish you well Suicidal if you couldn't tell You don't even know how I feel To be honest you never will My soul was attached to yours it's hard for me to leave But I'm so sick and tired of crying and begging please You said that you love then tell me why you had to leave It's not just deja vu cause I still see you in my dreams Wish I could find myself been feeling lost lately Tryna find my place but it's just all hazy I can see the sun but it still feels rainy Losing motivation I been feeling lazy So much pain and it's hurtin me like crazy Embracing the hurt thats what makes me I know that when I make there's gon be jealousy If you don't mess with me now keep that energy