Suicidal Thoughts

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright But every day I feel like dying Every day I feel like dying Why do I even try? Why do I even write lyrics about how I'm living the life When I'm battling pain and my demons at night? Trying to find a new outlet The devil pouncin', I hear him howlin', my vision cloudin' Man, I tried to escape but there ain't no way Try to be strong when I deal with the pain, yeah But I'm ditching the coffin, so my family has options Gotta work 'til I'm dead so that they get the best Don't wanna set up a bad example 'Cause the kids looking up can't leave in shambles Can't make them think clocking out's okay So f*ck suicide, I'm here to stay Try to free my mind I don't know what's right Wasting all my time Tryna find the light Try to free my mind I don't know what's right Wasting all my time Tryna find the light, no no I'll be out here runnin', I'll be runnin' from myself now Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now I'll be runnin' now, I'll be runnin' from myself now Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright But every day I feel like dying Every day I feel like dying One too many bad thoughts inside me Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me I'm pressed with time, I'm stressed with life, my breath is ice I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always Barely standing, crawling down the hallways Sink into my bed, with death inside my head Yeah, that note you found? I didn't mean it Just wish I had a better sense of meaning Never meant to let you down, I've been down and out Racing thoughts had to drown them out, f*ck Never giving in I swear to God No matter how many times I prayed to a God I don't believe in Just to see if I will never wake up, but he called my bluff Try to free my mind I don't know what's right Wasting all my time Tryna find the light Try to free my mind I don't know what's right Wasting all my time Tryna find the light, no no I'll be out here runnin', I'll be runnin' from myself now Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now I'll be runnin' now, I'll be runnin' from myself now Gunnin' demons down, find my way out of this hell now I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright But every day I feel like dying Every day I feel like dying (I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die) (I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright) (But every day I feel like dying) (Every day I feel like dying)