LOST (feat. Nash Wulff)

I never had much, I never had enough I've never felt somethin' so real to the touch I always felt like I ain't ever belong Ever since you fuckin' left, I've just been plottin' along So I, write my songs, try to get it off of my chest All my friends think any day soon I'mma end up dead They maybe right, maybe that's why I speak so much about death And where I'mma rest, 'cause I feel so mother fuckin' depressed I try to hide it, but I can't, these days I'm as low as I've ever been I'm tryna bloom, but these predicaments keep fuckin' up my mood Feel the energy shift in the fuckin' room when I walk in Feel like these walls are closin' in I've lost everything that I worked towards I don't think I got enough in me for more I know I was never the type to bend or budge But these voices in my head keep tellin' me to take the plunge This ain't just a song, I'm tryna pre-warn you Listen to these lyrics and I pray they won't haunt you If you a friend of mine, knew that I was contemplatin' suicide But never stopped to think that my demise was on the rise F*ck you Take me back to when I had Anisah, Drako, Josh, Xander, Lex and Mark and Yuki-san Right by my fuckin' side I am so sorry for everything I ever put you through, Anisah You were my god damn angel, I'm sorry for my crimes It's all my fuckin' fault that you got these trust issues There is not a single day where I don't regret what I did And I can not believe that was how I mother fuckin' acted I was just this junkie addict dealin' with these fuckin' problems Depressed and selfish, your love I neglected I never wanted to hurt you, I never played you I meant everything I said, I fuckin' loved you It's still circlin' in my head, shit was just too fuckin' dark I never thought id be in this position that I'm at This is whack, how fast time comes to attack It don't slack, faster than a fiend stabs you in the back Fact, always caught in the past, it's where I felt intact I used to have it all, I built it all just to watch it fall Took off too quick, watched the engines stall Used to have my friends intact 'till they watched me crawl Wake up, don't even got the heart to fuckin' bawl Shits different, this predicament, no line I can call No bed I can lay, no dreams I can sprawl Lost everything so I built up a wall Don't wanna share what's inside, don't wanna throw the ball Just another washed up kid on the Sunset Strip Spend my days thinkin' of some new rhymes I can spit Ripped the pages out the book, the laws of life I skipped Tell a bitch my problems and all I get is judgement And you wonder why I stay cold and standoffish I hate my friends, I'm sick of dealin' with their bullshit No room for my story, they just wanna get it over with So they can try and use me for only their comfort Hopeless, useless, feelin' worthless Livin' reckless, love abusive Fuckin' demons so sadistic Take me back to the past, I'm stupid