Silence

Everybody seems to be chasing the same thing Big fortune and fame thing That shit just ain't me But maybe it wouldn't be so bad to see My family Finally living lavishly In luxury instead of struggling To find something to fucking eat In this God damn house this week How lousy of me I should be out in the streets To be The call of the void is calling from the balcony "How could he?" They shout, loudly As they find me outside of the house on Halloween They cry and crowd around me, crouch down Bow their heads and begin to pray to the God that forgot about me "Now he's in a much better place, up in line at heavens gates" "Wait, is it too late to resuscitate?" "Try anyway!" "What's the worst that could happen? We can't hurt him." The last words, were unheard The birds will sing in mourning Early morning it's pouring down rain I awake at the sound of the thunder Calling my name through my window "How'd this get open? Michigan's too cold in October" I close it Go into the kitchen Shit's different Everyone's staring off in the distance I'm trying to talk to them, they won't listen Then I notice their skin glisten as the light hits them The sky clears, they wipe their tears As I watch myself blow them all kisses Before I dissolve into the luminescence Finding peace as pieces of me seize to exist I see this is it I see the leaves on the trees fall and lose their vibrance The sky went from bright blue to all white I'm frightened, trying to find some sort of guidance My consequence is slowly subsiding There's no hiding from what I've decided I might as well lay here It's getting dark I close my eyes and I start to think about my life And the view from halfway down The sounds fade away, now its quiet As I become one with the silence I awake in a cold sweat I'm panic stricken In a room, pitch black A single flame the candle flickers Cataclysmic hallucinations I've had it with my imagination And places my mind can take me My heart is racing It's like static from this damn AM radio station In place of the happy tunes that it used to play Who's to blame for the pain chasing me to the darkness? The ink bleeds in my art, this poetry's a catharsis I fought too hard to keep my thoughts at ease I taught myself to breathe But as I sleep my apnea's acting up Is he after me? Is he the shadow that's attached to me? Attacking me for years of blasphemy? How can it be? Damn these dreams for having me questioning my beliefs And testing me for deceit I got a list of regrets, as long as CVS receipts Trying to clean up my mess before I'm resting in peace I'm up to my neck in stress, I might be next to decease But I'm definitely blessed to see another day It's destiny What's next for me? Is this the end of perpetual emptiness? I'm constantly reminiscent of every single memory I wish I could go back but the past was never a friend to me Desperately in need of a remedy made for cleansing me Mentally, spiritually Clearing me of these entities I'm finally accepting the present time as a gift Cause the future is uncertain So now I'm searching for bliss Wondering if a person like me could ever be fixed I'm broken and holding on to the tattoo that's on my wrist A reminder to keep on writing my story And do not rush the ending A reminder that what's torn up inside Can aways be mended All this constant complaining, in vain Isn't saving any of us from pain It's one shot to the brain I play these images back again in my mind Violent, trying to keep me flying High enough to hide me from the