i be fuckin up

I be fuckin up Keep my pain a quarter tucked See the day I don't relate to my dad & my mom I be fuckin up Every day I'm pourin up & i aint even like to drink Forget it aint the same as weed I be fuckin up Go & lose a hundred bucks over somethin dumb & tell my friends I won No one knows I'm fuckin up No one cares They suggest I grow up Why no one taught me how to think They only taught me how to read So they can tell me how to see Call me weird for not agreeing Say I'm wrong for disbelieving & the saddest thing is You won't ever realize Because you're stuck on things you've grown believin "This is really right" until you die You won't ever realize Because you're stuck on things you've grown believin "This is really right" until you die I was fuckin up Livin life fucked up Pourin too many cups Drown out all my thoughts I've had so many dreams lost in reality I have seen things that simply shouldn't be I've taken lines that had me look to the skies I've made lies over shit that was well despised But through my life, that was my time I was feelin right, one hell of a night But I really didn't see who the f*ck I was hurtin And before I knew it we were pulling down the curtains Of a life, never more Of a time, out the door Now I'm lookin, here's a vision And here's what I know I see I'm gonna Live life's mission That's the only way to be free Heading further from a shore To a place I've never been before Clouds of white and skies of blue A heaven I never thought was true Look within yourself & see the gold No matter the dirt on your road None of us have perfection But an idea of complex dreams