Whatever

I lost four members of my family all at once I ain't been the same in months Unexpected loss is proof that life still has a punch It's gone do what it wants If you don't take hold of the destiny I do it for the passion let love handle the rest of me Purpose is my recipe The seasonings my legacy The hem of my penmanship is known to conquer leprosy Cause Jesus conquered death for me So what is it I struggle for Got grief still knocking at my door Weak and weary ever more Wish I could say never more Still searching for a reason But if I got the answer would it quantify my being Got me questioning my faith but what's the purpose in me seeing Prolly end up disagreeing I just wish that I could see them I mean I know they live forever in my memory Still rather have me here with me Instead I sit here tearfully Penning out my issues and as I wallow down in misery Like Annie Wilkes was sent for me I play my broken symphony I really been dealing with pressure Depression be clouding my efforts Adulting redundant Attacking abundance I don't even think you could measure The losses I suffered I'm trying to recover the strength and the will to do better And not say whatever And just do whatever But really whatever Yeah it's whatever The worlds in constant state of argument It's harder when we need to make change Half us speaking through depression Others speaking through our pain It's a shame the low down dirt is a cold game Who's to blame Is the biggest distraction with no aim What you saying I'll tell you the truth cause they won't relay it They'd rather have us fighting while they faking playing favorites I'd rather get indicted for the dope inside my statements Never love always hating so we grew it out the pavement If life is what you make it I'll shape it like it's water Fill it up with patience and the wisdom to be smarter It only takes a mustard seed I need it to be larger And I can't stop it there I know I gotta take it farther Buildings bridges with my father As I'm praying for a daughter This is everything I think of in the moments where I harbor All uncertainty the urgency to make it is a barter On your soul and on your purpose if you do it out of order I really been dealing with pressure Depression be clouding my efforts Adulting redundant Attacking abundance I don't even think you could measure The losses I suffered I'm trying to recover the strength and the will to do better And not say whatever And just do whatever But really whatever Yeah it's whatever It's Whatever It's Whatever It's Whatever It's Whatever Am I reaping for the reaper or I'm reaping what I sought Am I looking to the future or I'm looking back with salt Assault on my ambition and division from the lost Ain't this posed to be my season on the earth ain't I the Stuck inside another Labyrinth it's confusing and complex Working through my grief I pray to keep on through the test Heavy is the crown I feel the pressure on my neck Giving every single breath For the ones I won't forget See this how I respect My talents and my reasons The people who supported and the ones that I believe in I know it's just a season I take it day by day I really need some answers can you please show me the way