Existential Crisis Solution

I, I, I can't even explain why, why (why, why) Do my eyes look full to you or what, what (what, what) Seems everybody's living the same life, life (life, life) I thought my light was gonna shine But it seems I was only casting shadows If you got suicidal thoughts You should consider not You will never escape the pain you will just respawn I will never get well again I don't care about samsara All I had to live for is knowing that if I die I will have to redo the walk Thought I could wait out my life (my life) But an eternity was too long Either trapped behind my eyes or being instantly reborn (born) No more options No more options that can change my fate (fate) Safe to say, when I'm 80 I'll look at it the same way And that's why I am driving around fast Won't talk to you cause I know you won't last (won't last) Tried to make chemistry but all I got was a chemical imbalance Tried to be a love doctor But my heart was broken alas Can't wait til I make something other than rap Cause it shows how I'm now, not in the past Five years ago I had no idea if I'd be alive today (day) In 19' I thought I had my swan song around that May (May) Life went by like the blink of an eye but now I know the way And I know that when I am 80 I'll look at it the same way Death is the grass on the other side Wait til' it spreads into your house Or life recursively goes around And you can't see the time You're dead to me You don't observe it so you won't see it (it) When the eternity is over you know that you won't be missed When I was young I was fearing I was misunderstood Until I figured I was growing into my father and this is what he went through So why, why should I try to get out of my bed? When my son will just end up like me, end up dead