Stolen Valor.

(What are your feelings, you know, being in America as a Nigerian Like, do you feel like you fit in?) I used to call myself a wallflower But I was more of a chameleon I'd turn into a therapist, or morph to a comedian I wanted to belong; it was all I could need In my attempts, I never even tried belonging as me It was a given that I saw to the need Different versions of myself appeared depending who was talking to me But when you're friends with everybody and they only know a side of you It's hard for your identity to solidly be I picked up all and any hobbies and creeds I got involved in things I never even wanted to see I made a couple friends, acquaintances and all in between But I was still depressive, obviously It was appalling to see Beyond a personal level, I had some fish to fry too What happens when you're in a country full of people like you Same looks, same names, same recent life moves But you realize that you don't fit the scene in wide view Since a kid, I was divorced as I could be from my roots I was still within the country, but my difference shined through Didn't listen to the music 'til my teens when I grew Sore thumb within the zeitgeist, I figured I'd move Sought the West because it was supposed to be what I knew Had the cadence and the taste and had the lease of life too And superficially, it was a better feel for my truth But it's clear to see it wasn't the completely right move In a country where it's"us" versus"them" every day It was clear the day I would be seen as"us" never came My ability of switching who I was would never aid Once again, I seemed to fit, but it was not a better space Felt like stolen valor if I leaned too heavy either way But I found a balance harder to achieve and keep the same If I stuck to one extreme, at least I'd only feel a way So, I figured being me would probably never be the play Let the fear of no acceptance lead astray Twenty years I acted like I didn't know it was myself I seen betrayed Now I can't be sure of who I am or what is real or fake So, I stay forever stuck between the gates (And I feel like. A lot of the time it just feels like I'm a fraud bro, like One minute, I'm fitting in with the Nigerians And then the next minute, I'm a completely different person When I'm hanging out with my American friends (Yeah) And then, I'm like"which one is me?" Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, that's fair But what's the biggest thing you can say Okay, it has stayed with you through all that)