Pencil and Pad II

Silly old me To think this shit could ever come easily Guess I gotta go harder and bring out the beast unleashed Swimming through emotions and there ain't no appeasing these Waters where I'm drowning like I don't even need to breathe So tell me God if you're above do you hear me now? Why this life gotta push you till you just bleeding out? I know I'm far from perfect, why I feel like you leave me out? Whenever I'm feeling defeated, nobody here it's just me and Myself and I, swear it's been that way for years Self-doubt it plague my mind, it's so hard to break the fears Don't know if I've gone numb or if I cage away the tears All I know is I gotta find the way outta here I'm going through it My career stagnant, hurts that it ain't moving Sometimes it feel like my existence on this world's a nuisance uh Swear this life be testing me Wake up, my sister getting beat in the room that's right next to me Depressing me That shit weighing heavily, but she don't want no help from me So I just gotta let it be, it's killing me Don't let em see How that shit affecting me Won't let em get the best of me Gotta keep on fighting till I'm reaching out my destiny Stress relief When my pencil etch a scene Police up in my house while I'm here just tryna get some sleep Let em see Just who I am through every beat If I pulled a pistol on her mans Would I have the courage to let it squeeze? Or would I be the bad guy for doing that? Nah your too weak and you know it Don't you fool with that Too cool with rap How we stuck in the same spot If you want it my homies bare arms like a tank top I flame drop This some shit you can't top Even if you want it I guarantee that you ain't got Half of the drive, not half of the motivation Happily cultivating Everything I want Like I don't need no one's affirmation I'mma get it then go You don't wanna let him get in the zone Put on a show Mama be saying to set it in stone Let em all know I be coming for crowns Ain't not a way that we dumbing it down For none of these clowns Tryna tell everyone that gone listen Don't ever go give in Don't run from the doubt I tell people that like it ain't a problem for me Yet everyday I feel my dream is getting farther from me Thought I'd make just from putting out my heart on a beat But now I realize how much I was fucking caught in a dream Ominously lost in all these bars I'm jotting Falling farther Every single second feel the pressure dropping harder uh My shoulders breaking But no, I 've learned to take it I won't ever lose till my mama's life a vacation Don't cave in I swear that I'mma make it on my own Put the fucking world against me Face my wrath, they gone behold Read my verse like a religion This world feel like a prison I'm at they necks like the cross that Jesus was on for crucifixion Use my writing to escape Guess I got away with words Got away with words Got away with words Use my writing to escape She say I got a way with words Got a way with words Got a way with words Use my writing to escape Guess I got away with words Got away with words Got away with words Use my writing to escape She say I got a way with words Got a way with words Got a way with words Pencil P-pad