Soul

You never really sleep, do you? Evil seeps through you Let your pencil hit the page Your soul it always seeps through You're nothing And you fucking know it Don't you try to dodge the truth when you can't avoid it How can you not afford to Get your parents out their jobs When you spending out on clothes Without giving a second thought? You think you're man now? Think you're the man how? When you sister was getting beat Where the f*ck was you with your hand out? You try so hard to keep the peace But yet you scared to raise a fist When you need to fight for your beliefs I pity you Falling asleep up in the living room Writing for a dream that you're never gonna be getting to I know your secrets And everything you bury deep But if I told the world I guarantee no one would care to see You feel so choked that you can barely breathe How much does it hurt knowing no one's there to reach? And yet time after time Every second after second The moment you step back home You feel like failure in the flesh man You're all alone Nobody really need you You're going out in public just to make sure you ain't see through It hurts I'm the only one who know it So put that pistol to your brain and don't you ever let out your emotion I'll show ya It'll all feel better in a moment Grip your finger on that trigger Feel the squeeze and blow it Mama said to go see grandpa Two days before he died I didn't cause my hatred was engulfing me alive I'm no hero Not anything close I hate how numb I am I wish I had more feeling My emotions won't flow and I really don't know the reason It's hard It's hard trying your hardest just to watch it fall flat Efforts always failing so you feel you've lost track No one ever praise you No such guidance on your path They just like to judge you As you fall you watch em laugh Even the people around you close they can change The fights with my sister, I know it won't be the same I tried so hard to be there but you'd throw me away The tears I shed you still don't even know to this day And yet Everybody treat me like it's my fault Nobody look at me like my feelings worth the time though Pick them up as I fall Even if my eyeballs Bleeding out tears till I fucking feel all of my sight go My grandma getting weaker I promised her she'd see me on the screen but She knows I ain't made no progress Hoping that I see her Proud before it's too late But time won't stop My gramps he had to die seeing that I was no one And I don't even know if there's a Heaven or Hell really So why do I spend my time away from who care for me? I hate myself I ain't do nothing right ever My mama said she proud but she lie to make sure I'm better Diving further and further Bout to crash on the surface Looking at the world around me As my past flashes it burns me There's nothing left for me When you cannot fight what's destiny Hopelessness it f*ck up my world It won't let me ever breathe They say it gets better with time But Lord I'm still waiting How long can I be patient? I know I've fallen farther behind But my soul is worth saving Won't let the devil take me