I'm More Broken Than I've Ever Been

Look I'm at the stage in life Where the stage is life Could hit the left road but I was raised on Spikes joint I did it right Bright like the tip of candle wax On a lonely path Tell these corporate ghoul To kiss my nyash Pinning tales on themselves Every quarter I triple the wealth I have dreams of red suns setting on red sand I must be growing maturer In this game of thieves and liars I read ya cap Like the head of Thomas Sankara Bought my main a Chanel bag to Baggage the trauma Young, broke and tasteless Morning Sanskrit prayers Coke left me faceless I've come a long way from Being a manic roulette player Designer suit sent gift wrapped from a Belgian tailor hmmm I think I'll wear my Dashiki instead Graduation in three days We ain't minor, we majored Could have been the college dropout Late registrated Momma, healthy Lil sis hair long like river Nile If I could feel happiness, this the part I'd crack a smile I think I'm growing colder More disconnected More or less, I think business And pleasure made me apathetic I don't open carry my emotions I conceal em permanent Never regulated, ain't no checking me So if you catch a stray F*ck it. You deserved it I thought 48 karats Would hide the lack of purpose I'm on a roof top listening to Xenia's Magic Trix Sixty-five emails, thirty-four missed calls And one-hundred and two unopened messages I take the sunrise in and write another death note You say I'm too emotionally one note Why you never call Why you disappear for months Why you asking questions Lemme disappear and roll my blunts We grew up in a lonely castle My roses all had thorns My friends all had coffins My mentors, dead and gone I think life is a prison I think my body a prison Irony is I'm only free behind these bars Look man I do this for my people The prodigal son The the artistic sequel The shape of jazz to come The war where no gun is drawn The outline comes alive The crime scene was not meant to survive I am not a product of my environment I'm the product in the environment You fiend for conscious thought I just supply it man The lust sustained The fortune framed The picture unclear What a time to be young black And queer So cavalier he got one hand round a gun But his words ammunition so He don't speak with fear Apathy means I am a poltergeist to parlay Same old, same gold Tell the divine it can rob me of my life As long as my spirit enjoys the getaway Ghetto lullabies Eternal melancholy of the spot filled mind The nightmares, eclipsed fury that Malice held in rhyme The concierge asks me where home is I tell him home is a coffin Unfortunately, I live We held bravado Before apathy stole the hope Bloody fist The pavement punches your feet with every step My phone rings, incessant I am spoiled beyond belief Beyond reason Grapes fall into my mouth Blood dribbles down the cheek Life is killing me Three years from the time of this verse I'll probably be dead More successful and wealthy than I'd I've ever expect I knew where I was headed when I Chose this path at fifteen This is a tragedy You just don't know it yet See I'm in an industry where emotion is commodity In utero you serve servants, no apologies She says F*ck me right here, right now I need you I tell her look I can put you on my schedule Come on, don't pout boo You and I both know I'm worth the wait Spent a months rent on taxi's just to get away Told my main spin the globe No photos. We'll get away Self-expression is a game of consequence And I got nothing to lose See, I got nothing but my mama's smile And all these blues So I hop in the homie whip no license or registration Nearly crashed it, split old blood on my New kicks Order a quartet just to Seranade me for a lil bit Double back to the jeweller Drop a stack for wrist But here's the plot twist I'm more broken than I've ever been I'm more broken than I've ever been I'm more broken than I've ever been I'm more broken than I've ever been I'm more broken than I've ever been I'm more broken than I've ever been I'm more broken than I've ever I'm more broken than I've ever I'm more broken than I've ever been Some people think I'm talking about a particular lover, Or person in my life But the truth is You are every fistfight I ever got into Your are the concrete that split my skull And bled my thoughts onto these cruel Streets for the first time You were my first kiss as we held hands In the cinema The first ever rounding applause I got The first of many The first time on stage I think I've been addicted to you ever since I think I've loved you Before I even knew what you were You're mine But I'll never forget I am eternally yours I'm yours This voodoo music For your entertainment Blood moon Christ's body I'm the most disloyal changeling A thousand words I sacrificed, to make this painting Heaven's work For all the hell I've taken No debating who's ill I'd rather be the cure Fentanyl flows Scratch the needle Inject what's pure Baby I just need you to know I just need you to know I just need you to know Where you're going You'll never be alone I just need you to know Where you're going Where he's going Where she's going Where they're going Baby I just need you to know Where you're going You'll never be alone