In The Event of My Demise, Mum I'm Sorry

A lot of people ask me how I cope The truth is I don't The truth is I don't The truth is I don't How I cope The truth is I don't I was never one to cope Sunken place back here again I guess I need a rope Irony cause I'm on the ropes Losing battles left and right Flat footed cross legged can't keep up the fight Bloody teeth I smile with them Cashmere tears I laugh with them F*ck my name It was never meant to be written Existence played out I place myself in the rhythm In every man I lost, child is hidden Middle man of existence is sadness The middling man kept his millions in time capsules So if time is money I'm spending credit cards faster She puts coke on her tongue to numb my face My nose runs but my feet Are stuck in place My mind's stuck in place I don't make love I give you pleasure while I disassociate Look F*ck with me famo The punchline ammo The wordplay clipped I've prayed for relief Now I watch God laugh every time I take a hit Eyes numb and out of focus When I do it I know you'll hold us No hocus pocus But watch me disappear Look, this life's a window I might jump This life's a window I might jump This life's a window I might jump This life's a window I might jump I should've, I might jump I might jump In the event of my demise Mom, I just wanna say I'm sorry This is for the daughter I know I'll never have Or maybe for the inner child I'm about to adopt I love you dearly, that's the core plot The core stem, petal truth I never thought tears would bloom when the booth in sooth I'm sorry I never let you come near I'm sorry for all the stumbling I've done in this world I'm sorry for what I am, I hope you understand Pain can't reach a dead man, cut me, see if I bleed I hope the Lord grants me peace Let my spirit unfurl, I hope Maclaine won't miss me When I'm gone, I know the world moves on I hope you forget my name when I'm gone I hope things are better when I'm gone And if you miss my presence, know it's tears of joy at the end of this song Mom, I'm sorry, I just couldn't hold on I don't wanna be no more I never did I hope you don't enjoy these writings of your troubled kid Cashmere tears, nothing life and real We cry when we want, we laugh when we die Cold veins spill warm blood, I ask vanity why Vanity tells ego we have much to realize But I'm drowning now Why did they make my reflection so divine But I'm drowning now I can feel water falling down my spine Slice a window, I should jump Slice a window, I should jump Slice a window, I should jump Slice a window, I should jump Slice a window, I should jump I should, I should, I should jump I don't, I don't think I want to be yours anymore I don't think I wanna be yours anymore Just let me be In the event of my demise I just wanna say I'm sorry I love you and I'm sorry I love you and I'm sorry Aight, bye mum