Born To Be Lost

I've had something on my mind, on my mind yeah Sitting there for quite some time, quite some time yeah Like how i could be sitting in a month, in a month yeah Behind bars eating slop every lunch, every lunch yeah Yo, yo, since I was born I was destined to be lost First two years I was round prostitutes and cops Third year I didn't see red and blue but black and blue Not just on my mom but on me I remember like it's new After that it was child support, food stamps, and duplexes Mom and I alone my dad chased hoes with new breastes Every other weekend I was allowed to visit him I watched slowly as he gained more distances And his promises slowly lost all of the constinstences I remember asking why but he didn't give admittances I know why now so lemme say it plain no synonyms Cuz I only had butter on toast no sugar or cinnamon That H had him twisted and conflicted; he wanted to run At 8 I watched him sickened and addicted always throwing up I didn't know at the time cuz mom's always busting her ass At her job or at the bar-line to get some whiskey in her glass So if I gotta summarize that means I had nobody to follow If I followed my dad my heart would probably be just as hollow If I followed my mom I'd fall back to earth faster than a meteoroid Cuz you'd think a kid wouldn't know what it's like to have a void I've been beat down and beat up so tell me what the f*ck you've seen punk I've thrived off of a broken home, broken heart, and homes with no love Heart to heart mines like the grinch blackened and shriveled up Add bitches to the list of reasons why I can no longer give a f*ck Cheated on in the 5th grade to paint a picture of why that's so Then 4 more times to give reason to my demeanor of being an asshole Every love I've ever been given was ripped out of me And every love I've ever given was spit back at me When I look into the mirror I see it dripping down my face It trails down my neck then my chest into an empty space The blackhole inside sucks in the negativity to increase its size Until it's big enough to swallow me and take control of my mind And I'm almost there because the girl that I loved is dead The thought that I'll never see her I can't comprehend Because there's no way I can mend or sit and pretend That I will see her again from this earth she has left God won't make me amends and he laughs as I bend Wants me to say it's the end but there's more to attend So I won't sit and forget everything you've broken He has me in his hand he thinks that I'm done for I'll jab him in the eye and be congratulated, hear the applause The fans screaming "iitrua made it", then I broke God's jaw I'll never be a king or a god but a man who made an uproar Gabriel hand me my wings then my halo; it's my time to soar