Nice Guy

Well I finally shaved my armpits And brushed the knots out of my hair And put on mascara, went out to the city In those shitty heels I still have from junior prom I felt downright awful with sticky lip gloss on my gums I don't like the texture The whole time I was talking to you I couldn't stop thinkin about my lacy thong Ridin all the way into the dawn On and on until the break of dawn And when you looked at me with those carnivorous eyes, well I knew you only liked the cover and not the words inside When you complimented me, well it made me want to die cause I knew you only really liked the cover and you don't pay the words inside no mind Say you want me, I would rather Die of cancer in the desert Say you love me, I would rather Die than be your object of desire Desire Desire Desire When we were drivin home Well, you said that you had a crush on me And I just laughed uncomfortably and said "Oh I couldn't tell" Well not five minutes later you broke the silence between us, you said "You're supposed to tell me that you like me back to make me feel better" And before I knew what I was sayin it slipped out of my mouth Well more like tumbled, I mean I felt like I was chokin on the words as I said them Sickly sweet like a crocodile, I tried not to sound like a liar but I knew that you could hear it in my tone "Oh yeah, I have a crush on you too" Well you came into my bar last week, I was cordial to you Laughed at all your regurgitated jokes And even tried my best to make eye contact But twice within our exchange, you pulled that shit again To my reaction you replied "You're supposed to say this when I say that" "You're supposed to say this when I say that" "You're supposed to say this when I say that" And I thought about slipping turpentine into your margarita Say you want me ("You're supposed to say this when I say that") I would rather ("You're supposed to say this when I say that") Die of cancer ("You're supposed to say this when I say that") In the desert ("You're supposed to say this when I say that") Say you love me, I would rather (But you're a "nice guy", but you're a "nice guy") Die than be your object of desire (You're just a"nice guy", but you're a "nice guy") Desire Desire Desire I'm such a nice guy (You're such a nice guy) When I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror and think (You're such a nice guy) Wow what a nice guy (You're such a nice guy) But there's a whole list of things I don't like when you say (You're just a nice guy) Cause it forces me to critically examine my identity (If you're just a nice, nice guy) I don't understand why you don't want to be with me (Such a gentleman) Cause I'm such a nice guy (Well then what am I?) Yeah, I'm such a nice guy (Well then what am I?) Date night with a nice guy Date night with a nice guy Date night Date night Date night Date night Well I'd rather be alone, thank you very much Than to have you tell me what to think Tell me what to say Or tell me what to do