The War Inside of Me

My wardrobe is full of poison as I'm drowning in it This war is making me feel like I could take my final breathe I can't escape the feeling of being lied to by Death Trying to convince me to cross over and sign over my soul Saying that I could live eternally and not feel the pain If only you could honestly feel this pain It's not like you've been in the same boat as me If you did you've have seen how these emotions are draining me I've been so cold With these nightmares I've created on my own I've been here before I'm in a self influenced war Breaking my silence If only this was in balance My emotions have been spiraling out of control I'm left in the middle of my own war And my emotions stay floating away from shore If pain is all I feel I don't wanna feel this anymore My wardrobe is full of poison as I'm drowning in it This war is making me feel like I could take my final breathe I can't escape the feeling of being lied to by Death Trying to convince me to cross over and sign over my soul Saying that I could live eternally and not feel the pain If only you could honestly feel this pain It's not like you've been in the same boat as me If you did you've have seen how these emotions are draining me Am I alone or am I truly awake Or am I just a meer memory of your intake If my heart is cold as ice Would it hurt to me to lie And say I'll be alright I'm fighting with the enemies of my own Breaking every bone in my chest Feeling lost beyond my death Breathing in my final breathe It's only a matter of time before it kills me I'm writing into my arm for self support Keeping my emotions wrapped in a notebook Every page full of the pain Am I truly awake My wardrobe is full of poison as I'm drowning in it This war is making me feel like I could take my final breathe I can't escape the feeling of being lied to by Death Trying to convince me to cross over and sign over my soul Saying that I could live eternally and not feel the pain If only you could honestly feel this pain It's not like you've been in the same boat as me If you did you've have seen how these emotions are draining me Breaking my silence so I can explain the pain It's all written down in my black heart I can't express how much it hurts to feel torn apart If only you knew what I was feeling in my heart It's bleeding out and it's killing me inside Over and over again I feel dead inside All the emotions of this pain Don't make me feel like I am actually okay I'm stuck in this war and I can't get out I threw away the map to emotional support And can't find it anywhere cause it's lost All the times I tried to feel like I was before It's only lead to my own war My wardrobe is full of poison as I'm drowning in it This war is making me feel like I could take my final breathe I can't escape the feeling of being lied to by Death Trying to convince me to cross over and sign over my soul Saying that I could live eternally and not feel the pain If only you could honestly feel this pain It's not like you've been in the same boat as me If you did you've have seen how these emotions are draining me