Lost My Ground (feat. SouKo)

I tend to bottle up my feelings Don't wanna tell a soul I guess id rather keep concealing Any emotion that I'm scared of I'm not like these other people Tell me why do you compare us On the inside I'm still broken On the outside barely standing Sick and tired of the question How you doing? I can't stand it Cause to me it's so demanding Like I owe an explanation To something that got me planning out My demise Time to synchronize The thoughts I have commit a crime To tell me that I'm nothing Cause the demons never have to hide I'm shattered, split, and lost in time Dark passenger is on the ride And this is where I finally realized That I have lost my mind I'm in a darkness again No light, I locked myself in I gotta check up on my lonesome Just so I convince Anyone that comes around me I'm okay, my head is in The place you say it needs to be You'll never guess it's just pretend Make sure you never find out I blend in nice with the crowd I may have been an outcast But I have learned in this town To be like everyone else I'm masking over myself You think that I am okay I bet that you couldn't tell Cause I have done this before I wasn't born yesterday When I am beat up and torn I'm making jokes, I'm up late Get lost in playing some games Sit at my desk here all day I make some beats, and write things Something to numb all the pain Hey Why am I so different Live my life with hesitation I don't really get it Guess I'm better safe than sorry If it's not then I regret it I know I make mistakes But is it me if you replay them Over and over inside your head Like its a memory Now you got me thinking if I die Will they remember me Will this music make an impact On someone other than me Try to keep it personal No copycat, no mini me Wanna be loved, and I wanna be free Wanna be somebody, and I wanna be me Whys it gotta be hard, when I get blessings I've been losing my faith, got a grudge on things Grinding my teeth, and forgetting my patience I have been leveling up all the basics I am just waiting for you to replay this So you can hear all the words that I'm saying This is for anybody that can hear it I care about you, don't you ever forget it I'm never alone, when I listen to music I know that you feel it, it's real for you Like it's real for me Hear my pain, it'll give me peace When I'm still so broke, and I feel so weak And I find that song that'll make me speak like I don't think you'll understand just where I'm at When I've been here with myself Obsessing over the tracks Wrote this line a million times I'm just erasing the raps This is how I teach myself to really fill in the gaps Try to add this to my life To make it better and it works for me Wish that I could think of useful words Vocabulary Needs to be extended Education goes beyond the street And way beyond the paper Common sense, and logical thinking But, sadly, I never think it over I've been winging every talk And more since I've got older Wish I was courageous I wish that I was bolder Maybe id be happier And give up this controller But I'm not I tell myself it's for the better But it's really not Stay inside the hole I made myself Don't see the top This music is the only thing I'm proud of Gimme props Been working on so much And I don't ever think ill stop Keeping my head down, is saving my life Selling my soul, never came with a price The more that I'm doing, the harder the fight Got no excuses, you know that I'm right Gotta change up, when I'm losing my footing Get a good grip, then I jump to the ceiling Push it on up, getting crushed by the sealing Don't keep it in, let it out like I'm wailing Well I'm fine, yea that's tough It's a lie, I'm not that buff This is hard, it's weighs too much I'm going down, they got me cuffed A ball and chain, I'm sinking down It's not a joke, but you're a clown I'm losing air, I think ill drown And this the sea, that go no ground I lost my ground