Father's Day

Why does he get to be free when he destroyed & took my freedom away How is it fair he gets to be okay, while I'm trapped in a jail cell he created in my brain My anger is a manifestation of deep sorrow, how could you do this to your own fucking child He made me feel like a decaying skeleton my whole life My body remembers every detail of the pain, my body will never be the same I'm being ripped apart by my bad brain on Father's Day I'm being ripped apart by my bad brain of Father's Day I wished upon every star to make through those nights, my rhythms became my battle cry I prayed that you'd get crucified, but too many blind eyes They couldn't see through your disguise; all I could do was analyze the color of the tiles Memorized the texture of his skin, he committed such a deadly sin but I'm the only one who is suffering Walking into the cage of the beast, the ceilings still looks the same I'd scrub the walls if I could, I'd drag a knife over my skin till it's unrecognizable to him He's not here anymore but he's still in the walls, is any decision I've ever made been my own I was a puppet in my own home, and I never knew how deep the manipulation goes Got a desperate need for conclusions, obsessed with these delusions He did it all for his amusement, abusing his power as a father but I'm the only one who felt useless Now I'm screaming about how he destroys all the kindness in me & blackens every vision I've been given I'm being ripped apart by my bad brain on Father's Day He's a slave to his anger, now parts of me are him You should've packed the dirt over my grave tighter if you didn't want to hear me gasping for air on Father's Day