Pride

He woke up and there was peace Like a perfect vacuum Horizontal in a room that smelt of space That brought him grace From usual daily mornings laced with friction Her body tensed with frosted animosity That he attempts to melt With puns and coffee vapours As they sit in breakfast table stalemate Conversation long evaporated into disinterest She is a heavenly statue, cold and impassive The house hangs heavy on her word - but not today This morning brought forgotten respite Eased into the day with open heart and gentle wake Just his arm draped tender over his waist Pride is man Sweet routine of morning run and night-time gym Exfoliate for perfect skin then beers to rough it up again Grad job, new wheels and FIFA on Sundays He plays the role perfectly, down to a tee They see him a modern Adonis All carpe diem and signature flawless They see him a modern man, all techno and dick jokes His girlfriend is beautiful, they make quite the pair She's the talk of the office Golden, they call them All couple goals hashtags It makes him feel smug, it defines him Tries to keep this in mind as the boredom starts biting The interest starts dying He sees her eyes wandering And they argue more than they talk And although he's not really that bothered He holds on to her still like a crucifix Because He is man and This morning's duvet clings to the blood of punctured ego It's gooped and sticky, holds him down like a fist This room looks different to him The same space Where they've smoked and they've talked And they've studied and laughed For as long as he's known His best friend, his gaff Now it looks like a trap Now he looks like a bad decision Always so easy in his skin He sees him now still slick with midnight sweat And cheeks flushed rose With baby blush, what is he dreaming of? Adam and Adam, they lay tight Ribcages pressed with umbilical closeness He makes him think poetry He is man, he is man, is he man When nothing even happened They just talked and fell asleep He was so kind, you see She'd locked him out their place again Refused to see his face again He bought them beers, he rolled a spliff He listened Pride can't remember the last time that somebody just listened But He is man and Everywhere he looks now, everything seems phallic Everywhere he looks, it feels like someone's laughing They are stone-carved God men moulded through history To be what they are today They are strong men, hard men, tough men Yet everything's fragile One step out of line and identity is shattered All they have worked to maintain Pride has rainbows coursing through his veins And he feels shame And he feels clarity And the river is staggering Certain to break any moment He should cry out But his throat is choked with words of love and hate And loneliness So all he can do is Hiss through his teeth at him as he blinks the day awake And spit at his goodness While his stomach twists at the thought Of the guys at work And the girl at home and their words And their looks and he's scared And he's sick And he just wants to hold him