Sloth

Fell asleep watching Friends again Saw Ross Geller's face in my dreams again Woke up weighted with dread again Don't have the strength to face the day again I carried Russell Brand's book in my backpack for days Thumbed it fast Till my fingers turned black and the edges got frayed You remember the one, his political one A Bible to guide movement now acting as my doorstop But at the time My friends and I bought it and I know he's a twat, but Something in his words spoke to me Seemed to coax some secret unspoken from me Seemed to reach to a part I did not know And he made me feel That bit less alone, you see Because I try to watch the news But I don't understand the words they say I don't know who they speak for But they don't speak for me I'd choose to lose myself in rom-coms Over House of Commons jargon but I'm told that's not useful Russell was preaching not to vote And I thought that seemed excessive So when it came to the election I marked the X in the box kept for the animal welfare collective It made sense That's what I think's important But the man next to me He stared at me dead He openly taunted Till he turned Labour red in the face Blamed me for the downfall of our modern politics It's young folk like you He said Caught up in your pin-up's fake disillusion Go do something then Don't preach revolution then not follow through When we fought for this, we gave you this So aim higher than your commercial messiah Go on then and tell me What do you want? What do you want? My mind is blank but my hands ball in fists They say us millennials are taking the piss I watch this structure where I don't seem to fit Don't know what I want but I don't want this I feel the need to apologise all the time But I don't quite know what for Seems the fact I was born at the time I was born Is enough to draw scorn like breath So shame me, so blame me I've heard it all before Like how today's youth do not have the vigour to fight a war I don't know if that's a bad thing Perhaps we've just seen sense But instead we have ourselves labelled complacent No I want to act, to get up, to find movement I feel it itch in my palms like the fervour of Enyo But it's empty avidity Because I feel like I'm wading daily through misery Instagram's crippling Rent is skyrocketing Graduates spend their days working in cafes Because there are no jobs The climate is dying Bombs terrifying The people are starving And all the while our government Is just laughing See everything's fucked And I am so little and it is so late And I'm happy just here with my bed and my crisps We cannot make a difference And apathy's bliss The days stretch long and it's pointless to try I feel life seems brighter when I close my eyes Tell me I'm lazy, tell me what to do I don't know where to go, but I won't follow you Then sometimes on those 3am sleepless nights I feel it stir That thing That some-thing That sung-thing That primal thing that feels ancient That feels too big for my modern language to speak But it's there like it's always been there It is deep It's there in this city's sense of community But more, it is more It's transcendence of all that we think to be normal It is a force Propelling disciples to follow their leader The Greeks being swelled into riot It's there I know it's there It must be there I just don't know where to find it Fell asleep watching Friends again Saw Ross Geller's face in my dreams again Woke up weighted with dread again Don't have the strength to face the day