What A Mess

My arms are cast from concrete While my chest continues rising and falling I welcome darkness, pull the shades To keep out all the evidence I'm closer than I've ever been to dying A weighted blanket wraps me up As new light elbows through that darkened window And I've been trying to tell you what a mess I am As I've been trying to process it the best I can While you proceed to give a demonstration Of an acute but innocent frustration While I contemplate the implications Of running on empty for too long The pulse of a life examined Races faster than these old chambers can keep up They spark and stutter I used to be so happy to suffer It seemed like bouncing off the redline Would make me room to breathe easy eventually But all this accumulated pain Just levels me instead That's why I've been trying to tell you what a mess I am As I've been trying to process it the best I can While you proceed to give a demonstration Of an acute but innocent frustration While I contemplate the implications Of running on empty for too long I appreciate the value in taking it slow I promise I will This should be my mental health year Let's see how it goes It goes Because I've been trying to tell you what a mess I am As I've been trying to process it the best I can While you proceed to give a demonstration Of an acute but innocent frustration While I contemplate the implications Of running on empty for too long And I know I should give it time (I'm trying to tell you what a mess I am) But it's heavy; I'll be honest I'm so desperate (I'm trying to process it the best I can) For some answers It's my right, but I'm too burned out to care And I know I should give it time (I'm trying to tell you what a mess I am) But it's heavy; I'll be honest I'm so desperate (I'm trying to process it the best I can) For some answers It's my right, but It's just time to move on