Disdain

It's nine in the morning And I wonder if I'll ever leave this place Trying to find a place in my head I can't leave home without The feeling I'll come round at nine, feeling sick again Well if you're not tired I am, we keep Going through motions, emotions, you know it We'll be going all over again If I could stop time and space I'd spend hours looking away I can't stand who I am Please don't look at me with disdain If I don't trust myself, why would somebody else Alone in this wasteland, screaming for help If I could stop time and space I'd spend hours looking away I just can't stand who I am As I stare at my ceiling While I try to figure out this phase Tryna to find a place in my head Where I locked all my courage of Risking it all when I was young and driven by those dreams Now I'm locked in abyss We keep going through motions emotions y'know it We'll be going all over again If I could stop time and space I'd spend hours looking away I can't stand who I am Please don't look at me with disdain If I don't trust myself Why would somebody else Alone in this wasteland, screaming for help If I could stop time and space I'd spend hours looking away I just can't stand who I am Wrap my fingers 'round my head and close my eyes, breathing harder Knees fall to the tiles, it's getting dark, feel the water Pushed me to the edge, no you can't push me any further I'm telling you the truth, if you believe, please come closer and draw Circles 'round my eyes, see my tears in the daylight The pain never subsides, elevates after sunrise The meds I've self-prescribed, fan the flames, feel the burn my, Hours pass me by, day by day, but if I could If I could stop time and space I'd spend hours looking away I can't stand who I am Please don't look at me with disdain If I don't trust myself Why would somebody else Alone in this wasteland, screaming for help If I could stop time and space I'd spend hours looking away I just can't stand who I am I just can't stand who I am