Killing Himself (feat. Pregnant Whale Pain)

He glances at the mirror Sees himself, is scared to death Ashamed by each minute flaw Sees the waste of every passing breath He waits within his room Lives every single life So alone, he doesn't know How can he possibly survive? He asks himself, "What must I do?" Everything's so misconstrued He's been so pampered, damn enigmas The fear is swelling; f*ck this stigma But how can he live when he's dying all the time? An aspiration; anticipation; he can't bear to live He's killing himself again Oh, when will he win? He's killing himself again (And again, you repent) He's killed himself 'til he's died He's still afraid to cry He's losing everything he's built His legacy's laced with guilt He wonders when it will end Ignores obliging friends Someday they'll find he is gone Then they will simply move on What did he do to deserve it? There's something deep within he won't admit He's finding the truth; it's so unkind He's slowly losing his mind But how can he live when he's dying all the time Approximation; asphyxiation; rectify your crimes He's killing himself again Won't stop; won't begin A damnation; his perdition He won't ever win What did he do (To deserve this life) He's like a child; oblivious with hopeful eyes Then one day he's blinded by that vicious truth Incapacitated, he's gone Fetch the ashes; quick, before they scatter in the wind Hold on for the dear life, or watch it slip away And there it goes A madness unfolds Marked by the end, an epoch, to which I say "Hell is not a place Cold enough for the winters endured" I used to pulsate warmth, yeah Now I'm but a skell Who's forced to occupy the body I once knew as home Go on, tell yourself to be the boy again Coming to the end, remembrance, to which I say "Why was I afraid Of all the people who cared for me" Aw hell, it's all my fault he's Gone (Scattered in the wind) Breathe (His image fading fast) I want to breathe one last time Before he fades away Search for ashes (In the barren wastelands now my home) Must find the dear life, it slips away He's like a child, now shards of a shattered man He's slowly losing his mind Oh, no Oh, what a shame Oh, I've played this game Oh, I must rest, a crypt to lay Lay among the skeletons, and I breathe A vagabond with denizens not unlike me This gift so unintentionally obscene Despite this emptiness, it's somehow quite serene From the deepest pits of my self-dug hole The child is laid to rest and I can breathe For once I feel someone emerge; not a ghost Years from then, discernible; my soul