What It's Like

I distract myself with all the good things But in the end it never helps I smile when my will is breaking To prove to you I'm doing well If I don't need you in my life Then why can't I just let it all die It hard to say it's not self-hate When I'm the one that made my chains It still hurts It still hurts When you're with him I just feel worse It still hurts It still hurts I'm beginning to think it's all on purpose Hang it over my head Make me wish I was dead But I'm the one thing you won't get Smile at you when I lie You won't hear when I cry 'Cause you don't know what it's like I distract myself with all the good things But in the end it never helps I smile when my will is breaking To prove to you I'm doing well If I don't need you in my life Then why can't I just let it all die It hard to say it's not self-hate When I'm the one that made my chains It still hurts It still hurts My friend, I hope you're happy with her It still hurts It still hurts But once I'm out it'll all be worth it Hang it over my head Make me wish I was dead But I'm the one thing you won't get Smile at you when I lie You won't hear when I cry 'Cause you don't know what it's like Hang it over my head Make me wish I was dead But I'm the one thing you won't get Smile at you when I lie You won't hear when I cry 'Cause you don't know what it's like You don't know what it's like You don't know what it's like