Ravin' of a Golf Maniac

Ah distinctly I remember It was in the bleak December That I pondered weak and weary O'er my volumes of golf lore Eagerly I wished the morrow That I happiness might borrow From a game that would cause sorrow Sorrow to opponents sore To opponents male and female Who would evermore be sore At the lowness of my score While I nodded nearly napping Suddenly there came a tapping As of someone gently rapping Rapping saying to me "Fore!" "'Tis some visitor" I muttered "Out there jealous of my score Only this and nothing more" (Fore!) (Fore!) Deep into that darkness peering Long I stood there wondering fearing Fearing that a rival had come Wandering to my door But the silence was unbroken And the stillness gave no token And the only words there spoken Were the whispered words "Your score!" ("Your score!") Merely this and nothing more Open then I flung the shutter When with many a flirt and flutter In there stepped a saucy Caddie Caddie who knew well my score (Caddie who knew well my score) Not the least obeisance made he Not a minute stopped or stayed he But with cool assurance laid he my Golf clubs upon the floor Then he kicked them - nothing more (Fore!) (Fore!) (Fore!) FORE! "Prophet" cried I "thing of evil - Prophet still if boy or devil! - By Chick Evans Vardon Travers And the others we adore - Tell this would-be champion truly When will bogey be his score?" Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!" (Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!") "Be that word our sign of parting Boy or friend" I shrieked upstarting "Get thee back onto the golf links Use your voice to call out 'Fore!' Do not try to cool my ardour For I'll only practice harder And I know that Col Bogey I'll be Downing with my score" Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!" (Fore!) (Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!") And the spirit of the Caddie Never flitting must be sitting Still upon my harmless golf clubs That he kicked upon the floor For my shots have all the seeming As if played by one who's dreaming And with driver cleek and mashie I'm the one to call out "Fore!" Always am I in the background - Always do I call out "Fore!" Good score make I? Nevermore! Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!" Good score make I? Nevermore!