Relapse (Skit)

F*ck dude Even the guided meditation app my therapist recommended isn't working Maybe I'm actually having a heart attack Makes sense I mean Reflecting on the numbing agents of last night and most nights leading up to then I wouldn't even be surprised I close my eyes Grip the steering wheel Take a deep breath Calm Peace Quiet But reality disagrees as my phone vibrates Sending my heart rate to take off like the one who just wrote me Almost there The text reads Evolving my anxiety into toxic shock I pull down the vanity for some last minute damage control But even Facetune couldn't cover up the past month of trying to move on Where's the water How many fucking times did I remind myself to get water You fucking idiot I check the back seat Vodka That could work What No dude When the f*ck did you become such a fucking loser Babe My heart stopped completely How could it not Hearing that word spoken in a way I've heard countless times But never imagined hearing again from someone I never thought I'd see again I looked up and eyed the love of my life Who I no longer recognized before attempting to apologize But the words just choked me She must have been 20 feet away But I think she was able to read my lips As I could see the tears swell in those bright beautiful eyes Before they crashed down her cheeks Taking this morning's makeup with them and leaving trails That I swore I'd never be responsible for again In my pathetic state of hungover and helpless I stumbled out of the car as she ran over and jumped on me Wrapping her arms around me and squeezing out Whatever air I had left in my lungs I'm sorry I said Her body jerked as if those words hurt Trust me I'd know She tightened her grip on me Her nails digging into my skin as her tears soaked through my hoodie I'm sorry too she said Which also triggered the release of my flood gates Which is a good sign It means I must be still alive But then my hands found home in the familiar grooves of her body And for the first time in what felt like ever I achieved the high I've been desperately trying to recreate Since the last time we met And in that moment I found bliss in forgiveness And once again became enslaved to the most addicting and dangerous drug of all Love