Blackout

I feel my hearts been lead astray I don't know the person I am today But I'm not the same as yesterday So I guess I'll never be the same It seems like life is give and take My heart is weary and it just might break There's a decision that I'm forced to make The choice will be for my own sake Because back then you failed me Smoking fat grams on the daily Cutting my skin doesn't phase me Depression left me empty And I Feel myself slipping Further away from humanity Gone now, the person I used to be Don't you try and fix me Cause I'm just a lost cause Now I only sleep Wishing I could go back And change the past But in life's race I come up last Alcohol, Xans and Kpins Aid in the state that I'm in But it doesn't change The way I choose to live or For that I can't forgive You went and broke me Left for dead Now here I am Glued to this bed I only sleep Now every day I'm numbed Drowning myself with drugs Cause the pain's too real I don't know what to do With myself I don't want to feel Smoke another bowl to relax Snort more lines, back to back How much more does it take Trying hard to stay awake But here I am And I only sleep Blurring scenes of past days Filled with mistakes I've made Forced to drown myself To wash the pain away But it seems I can't be content Every move I feel resent Fuckin up all the sheets Drowning week by week So numb and I can't speak See me now I only sleep Wanna make my parents proud Feeling like a failure Lost face in the crowd Don't wanna do this anymore Staring at the ceiling Face down on the floor Back to the dark place In my mind Busy contemplating suicide All I want to do is to feel alive But I lay down And go to sleep Now every day I'm numbed Drowning myself with drugs Cause the pain's too real And I don't know what to do With myself I don't want to feel Smoke another bowl to relax Snort more lines back to back How much more does it take Trying hard to stay awake But here I am And I only sleep