Many Nights

Star child I'm beyond fame Rap LeBron James Made lines like my mom's name: Madeline I was conceived in July March when all the stars aligned Through the universal sky I was traveling Battling drug addiction Made Madeline feel inadequate Ravenous and never having shit Displacement dissociation Eviction and home invasion And chasing the dragon until it's you The dragon is chasing But she's my superhero And I'm her biggest fan Single mama and still Taught me how to be a man That's why your heart is in my hand And you're always part of my plan How do you quench the thirst Of a loving parent who's gone And you'll never speak to again And you miss 'em a dusk till dawn And you need them to rise again Like the morning needing the sun And I miss you with every breath Till my own heart beating is done Till my own heart beating is done Till my own heart beating is done Was I too much to raise? My rays too bright to shade? I miss you every day And I hope that you think I'm brave At times I disagreed With decisions that you have made Like places that we live Or the ways that we're getting paid But I could fuss and fight About the things I didn't like Or I could focus on All the things that you did were right When it was cold at night You kept me warm And held me tight The most precious part of my life And I think of you many nights Many nights Cannot quench this Cannot quench this Need for the sun to rise again Many nights Wonder if I'll Wonder if I'll See the light of dawn again And when And when Many nights If I'm too much to take When you're about to fade away Oh well I guess I understand And many nights Cannot seem to find The tiny sliver Where the light Gets in Many nights A sudden sadness Heartbreak madness Chemicals without a choice Neurons firing without notice Didn't know it till I heard The voice within my chest exploding The elegant privilege The relevant diction All the false words We say to the people were missing Until we see you again? Things will be different? But that's just the problem you see It begins with a monster That wakes you from sleep Some night in December Lost in the hospital weeping Sometimes I wonder If she's still dreaming Or if either of us will ever wake up Sometimes I wonder Sometimes I wonder