Monster Within

The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you Doctors gave the diagnosis as a little kid Normal soon became a thing that I didn't live My symptoms would hold me back from fitting in Running home from school it was hard for me to play tough When you're scared but don't know what you're afraid of I'm taking antidepressants back in grade school Just so I can focus on the lessons and stay cool Panic attacks that I would have came from nothing I could be relaxing but then all of sudden Hands would clam up and I'd feel my chest get tight Heart rate would add up and then my breath would spike I would sweat at night but my body, feel cold I was taught breathe slow please put me in sleep mode Mind over matter but that doesn't even matter When you don't know what's the matter with your mind I've had it with the crying it happens all the time I wish that it wasn't mine The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you I wanna be like everybody else but I'm not allowed It's a feeling of concealing like I got a shroud Covering up anything that can lead to happiness I see the monster within in which that it is And as it gets out of hand it keeps digging It won't loosen the grip and the room keeps spinning All of the anxiety is driving me insane No more hiding what's inside of me I'm in pain To you, it looks like nothing for me the thoughts are real And I don't wanna depend on the meds and pop a pill For every episode might be best I'm left alone I can't grow out of it I can only grow up with it It's like a prison that I built but I'm stuck in it I gotta thing where I sit in the back of restaurants Otherwise it sets it off and leaves you paralyzed And do I dare to try death I'm not scared to die, yes The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you A lot of people with general anxiety disorder find themselves sighing They'll often tell you they can't take a big enough breath They kind of live in this world where they're living in this almost in a turned up state of tension all the time I describe them like ducks floating in the water They seem very serene flowing across the lake But underneath they are paddling like hell to keep going The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you The monster the mon the monster All I see is this blood on you