City Lights (feat. Tom McElroy)

I've never felt very close to my heritage In spite of the documents proving my emancipation Yeah, there it is, smoking asparagus, coughing hard like a carapace Hip hop a mystery to me all because of my parentage I feel so despondent because I can tell It's the devil who's deeming my life a miscarriage It's so repulsive how I literally have no culture It's beyond the pain that you feel like an ulcer Every morning I feel way too weak to get up out of bed So just leave my body to the vultures I can hear it again - how I'm so fucking lazy and disappointing I will never become anything I was meant to be I don't deserve it; my heart's full of greed I'm a fucking degenerate, never, ever gon' be better And I have no say in this All my life I've been feeling like I'm being played with Too much of a coward to spill my own blood with a blade, bitch So, I find my solution in chemicals Flammable, edible, everything short of a tourniquet Turning me into a vegetable, letting go Make me wonder, make, make another way Take me under, take, take me underway Light the fire, light the other match again Take me under, take, take me underway No permission, I was born like this Worn like this, made it through the storm like this Ego torn like this Tired of niggas throwing scorn like "Bitch, silent hatred is a poor guy's wish" I'm trying my best just to increase my discipline Seems like it's simple, but it's a mess I have no fucking foundation to rest against Tested by my own negligence It's so disingenuous of me to think I could get away with this no consequence Dominant logic responding I don't know what's best for myself in the slightest But even I know to admit when I'm biased And words can only do so much As the darkness in me spreads, I just rely on my crutch Exhale the smoke and try to strike some kind of balance within As I break down and try to build myself back up in a rush The pressure was mounting and by all accounts I could tell that I was in for some shit, but I had no intention to quit Dollars I'm counting, the bill is compounding I feel surrounded by seeds of potential, when what I need is to leave Make me wonder, make, make another way Take me under, take, take me underway Light the fire, light the other match again Take me under, take, take me underway