Can't Keep It Inside

No just cannot keep it inside No cannot be pushed to the side Why should I let all of this slide When where I am and want to be never collide No just cannot keep it inside No cannot be pushed to the side Why would I try to hide The fact that last night I prayed that I had died Feels like I'm fighting a battle No not gonna be subtle Said battle is internal And it feels like it's eternal Try and put on a smile Every once in a while Too much emotion to pile And I wish this was just a trial Here is the reality I'm not here for salary My life's not a tragedy I just need happiness drastically Been here a hundred times before Feels like I'm beaten to the core I wanna die on this floor And I don't wanna do this anymore It's starting to become overwhelming This silence nothing's helping Another materialistic purchase And I'm always searching for a purpose Another night where nothing feels right Suppressed ambitions upfront emotions Pointless exchanges nothing changes Devil on my shoulder hearts growing colder No just cannot keep it inside No cannot be pushed to the side Why should I let all of this slide When where I am and want to be never collide No just cannot keep it inside No cannot be pushed to the side Why would I try to hide The fact that last night I prayed that I had died